mimimimimimimimimi mimimimimimimimi mimimimimimimimimimimimimi mimimimimimimimimimimimi mimimimimimimimimimimimi mimimimi.

i once told johan, maybe i can use the mimimi language to talk, and no one will understand what i'm saying.
even if i read back next time, i will already forgot what the content is about, and i will not know what is it too.

sometimes, things don't need to be said clearly, to know how they feel.
observe, analyse{even though i can't do that much too},understand.
or whatever you can think of.

why must everything be typed out/write out/said so clearly, then people will understand and know.
sometimes i just want t aperson to talk to, someone to share secrets with, a shoulder for me to cry on, i want to be recognized, to be appreciated, to be noticed, to be understood. yet, when i tried to think and look for a correct person, i found none.
all i see is the four walls, and a pathetic screen looking at me, which i throw all my nonsense/junks in.

why must i be the one who's happy?
why must we think, how my actions will hurt others? why must we think about others?
why must we prevent, avoid harmful thoughts, or anything?
why must we worry about hurting others?
why must be hide?
why must we have split personalities at times?
why must we act like something we're not?
why must we change?
why must we do things that we don't want to?
WHY MUST I SAY ALL THESE THINGS WHEN I DON'T THINK THERE'S A NEED TO?!

SPLIT-SPLAT-SPLASH, i just had a brown waterbomb session.
and if you don't know what's that, it means SHITTING.

felt so much better after that. haha.
felt so horrible these few days. perhaps i am falling sick, but, who cares?


哦忘了问问自己快不快乐
忘了问问自己这值不值得
《坐立不安》- 蔡健雅

like i said before, one may seem happy, but he/she may be not.
ask yourself, are you happy? are you really happy?
are you really truly happy?
or are you just putting on a mask believing that you're happy?

就算哭,也一样没帮助
我被困在一个人的小屋
多想要追又不等你安抚
眼前是什么路
已看不清楚.
《双栖动物》- 蔡健雅


will i ever be really happy again? when will i smile like i mean it? can i be happy from deep down my heart?
will i? ]: